As you all know, I don’t enjoy responding to critics. However, a woman named “Robin” recently left some comments that need to be addressed. If you haven’t read all of her comments, she basically questioned my authenticity then went on to talk about how ITB she was. She even wasted time trying to figure out who I was on some City Data Forum website. After that, things got sort of confusing and it just seemed like a middle aged ITB woman, who had nothing better to do than argue with people on the internet, had decided to write her life story in the comments on this blog. I figured I’d wait until she got all those insightful comments out of her system before I responded. It appears that she’s finished, since she wrote, “I will no longer attempt to pierce through your mental obtuseness.” So let me begin with my e-mail to her.
Look lady, I haven’t even been paying attention to this comment shit that’s been going on over the last three days. My IT guys have been approving the comments and were nice enough to let you continue to make a fool out of yourself, while I was busy carrying on with my normal life. I checked my blog today and saw what could only be described as your own personal ITB memoir, which was not in the least bit entertaining. The fact that you’ve been arguing with my supporters (thanks guys, jager bombs on me this weekend) for the past two days really says a lot about how significant you are. My IT guys say you live in South Carolina now. Is this true? You obviously love ITB with a passion (can’t blame you there), which makes me wonder why you left. I can only assume your departure was due to some sort of shameful incident that involved the CCC, a waiter, the back of your father’s SUV, and a broken prophylactic. Regardless of where you live, you still are incapable of comprehending the purpose of this blog. I update others, who are worthy, on my opinion of current events or about the partying that I’m sometimes sorry for. I can’t spend all day arguing on the internet, as I’ve got more important things to worry about, such as when I’m going to start pre-gaming for the Who’s Bad? concert on Saturday, or on whether I think Busy Bee is an acceptable place to be seen. Hell, deciding between Village Deli and the Community Grocery for lunch is a more important use of my time than pointing out your inability to understand why I do what I do.
I was going to ignore your first comment, but you wouldn’t stop. You said you contacted your friend from the FBI. The FBI? Really? You even had a friend call up someone with the last name “Finley” to see if I was related to them. I’m pretty sure I’ve been vetted more than Sarah Palin over the last three days. I shouldn’t waste my time, but I’m going to address a few of the many asinine statements you’ve made thus far. Regarding your first question about where I’m from; not only do I live ITB now, but I was born here (at Rex Hospital, obviously) and have lived here my entire life. You wondered why I wasn’t listed in any Wake County databases. If you knew anything about being a socialite, you’d know that all my assets are in multiple irrevocable trusts from my grandparents, (the next one is transferrable to me at age 30) and that I’m not some commoner who lets Wake County list my property value. Do the posts that I write not show how out of touch with reality I really am? I spend thousands of dollars of my parents’ money at overrated bars in Raleigh. I’ve spent 75% of my (first) trust fund on a plan to build a wall around the belt line to keep others out. My parents had kids in four year intervals to ensure that there would always be one child attending Broughton at all times. Is that not ITB? That’s not even a serious question. I’m ITB as shit. The real question is, Robin, who the fuck are you?
The following are my responses to some of her retarded statements. Some of them have been edited because they’re so long (all the spelling errors are hers). To read the full version of Robin’s ITB life story, click here.
You asked Forrest “Do you actually know Earle Finley? He sits on the board of the Finley Foundation….” – Yeah Robin, it’s real difficult to look up a website and pretend you’re friends with these people. Name dropping doesn’t give you any credibility, although, it does let us know that you can read and use Google.
“It may interest you to know one of my dearest friends who was also raised ITB contacted and spoke at length with one of the Finleys …. and interestingly, he didn’t even know who this ITB Insider was. He had to google the website to see what it is!!”
I guess you two middle aged women have nothing better to do than try to find out if I’m related to the Finley family that you know. If you were really ITB, you would have been busy spending your husband’s money at Charlotte’s, after attending your PTA meeting at Daniels Middle School, instead of wasting your time stalking me.
“And I say that no respectable or worthy human being would have a desperate need as you obviously do to exploit the ITB area as a marketing tool. Genius marketing idea but not convincing that you are, in fact, a genuine “Inside the beltline” native. My guess is that you are a transplant from up north, capitalizing on Raleigh. You don’t even write correctly.”
You keep referring to this blog as a “marketing tool”. What the hell do you think I’m “marketing”? Sure you can purchase a t-shirt or an ITB sticker (after my IT dept. approves of your zip code), but I don’t even promote that shit. If you’re important enough to wear it, you’ll know where to get it. Also, where are all the ads on my blog if this is a “marketing tool”? That’s right, nowhere. I don’t need “ad revenue” or whatever the hell it’s called.
Someone searched this “City Data Forum” that you posted on, and found that you didn’t live in Raleigh. You quickly responded, “Nice try. I am not the City Data Forum user but I know who exactly who that person is, and the 27615 is a false zip code she used. She and I are close friends. Why would anyone in their right mind use their actual zip code on one of those things?”
Yeah……it’s your “close friend” that posts on that other site, just like the time I had to tell my Mom I was holding that bag of “nose candy” for my “friend” before we went to the “library” to “study” all night. If your friend is so ITB she would have proudly displayed her zip code.
You continued on….
“I get it. I discussed this blog with several people yesterday and recognize that I failed to interpret it’s purpose….In all truthfulness, I like this blog. I think I have already pointed out that I think it is a genius marketing idea; any visionary can grasp that.”
I do consider myself a visionary.
“But what I don’t understand is WHY the person who created this blog (who apparently is talented) would feel the need to rely upon the Finley name to make his point.”
Relying on my parents is what I do best. How else am I supposed to get the things that I want?
“Why not take this to NYC or Greenwich, CT.”
Are you retarded? Do you expect me to move to NYC or Greenwich, CT or to even waste my time trying to find out what the hell Greenwich, CT is so I can talk shit about it?
“Myers Park has nothing on Raleigh; I know this for certain. I could really get into specifics here, but will respect others privacy on this topic.” - Finally, we agree on something.
“And why would you compare ITB with Cary? You are comparing apples to oranges on that one, especially when elaborating on “status.” I don’t use money as my gauge when placing these areas into a “status” category. In my opinion, Cary is for the nouveau riche, which, essentially, has nothing to do with money. It has more to do with a mindset and the mindset in Cary will NEVER be consistent with ITB… Cary is full of people who want to show off their wealth, whether they obtained it from hitting the lottery or getting lucky by striking a business deal with a former fraternity brother… Money is easy to make these days, and back in the day (in the old south days), status was obtained through values and hard work. Cary is a beautiful place but I can’t recall a time when I have conversed with someone from there who didn’t mention their material objects or their labels. These are clearly people who think money can buy class and that is why the word “status” doesn’t come to mind when I think of a place like Cary.”
See, if you had just talked like this from the beginning we would have gotten along just fine. Except for all the “values and hard work” bullshit, I totally agree with what you said about Cary.
“I have noticed a downgrade in ITB values, mostly because of the trust fund babies associated with Old Raleigh names, practically destroying their own family names. They have failed to honor their family’s reputation ITB by going out in public and acting a certain way. I won’t mention any names here but in the 90s, there was an ITB descendant of a family, who frequented all of the bars and blew his money at certain types of establlishments (I won’t mention the name because I don’t want my phone ringing about this one). He hung out with us and was referred to as “2.8.” Get it? His sister was considered the unlucky one because she had inherited much less money than her brother. For those of you in the old Raleigh scene, you know exactly who I am talking about. Nice guy, but he managed to ruin his family name, unfortunately. People still talk about it today. The sad part is that his family was highly regarded in the community.”
This guy sounds legendary; I can only hope to achieve this status by continuing to live my life exactly as he lived his. I wonder what “2.8” means? Was that how many seconds it took him to take a jager bomb? Maybe it was how many pounds of blow he could do in a month? I’m dying to know more about him.
“ITB family names are precious to me, not only because I grew up ITB, but because I knew many of these people when they were alive, and now know their children and grandchildren. They are actually very good people, despite the “stigma” of ITB.”
I agree wholeheartedly, I just don’t know what the word “stigma” means.
I hope this has cleared up any confusion for Robin. At first, I was appalled that she would question my credibility. Once she continued to comment over and over and over, I realized that we do agree on some issues. Sadly, she already claimed that she would never return, “I am officially bored with you and won’t return to your board.” To all those other commentors who kept talking about “satire” and “critique”, I’m not sure what those words mean, so I can’t tell if you’re insulting me or not. I’ll assume it’s a compliment from a well educated ITB resident, since someone without an education wouldn’t be able to use such sophisticated vocabulary.