I don’t need help getting girls. I just show up at the bar, buy lots of shots, shout random shit at people I know, then take a random girl home. It’s almost too easy. Recently, a friend of mine, Mary-Caldwell Hovington, overlooked Forrest and myself when attempting to set her friend, Sarah-Leigh McClatchy, up on a date. [...]
Typical OTB
No, this isn’t 2 girls 1 cup, although this girl is definitely on the fast track to a similar career. Words can’t describe this, I’m actually speechless. You only have to watch the first minute (even though the remaining 3 minutes are equally as mind blowing) to see that this video displays everything that’s wrong with OTB and America in general. Why do we let these people [...]
March Madness
If you’ve been keeping up with me on Twitter, many of you (including Karl Rove) have, you’re aware of my passion for college basketball tournaments. I spent last weekend flying down to the ACC tournament each day, making sure I returned to Raleigh each night to go to Felson’s. Last Saturday at Felson’s was epic by the way, it was just like the [...]
Over the past few weeks, I haven’t been able to watch TV or look on the internet without someone talking about Twitter. Apparently, Twitter allows users to post messages, that can be up to 140 characters long, called “tweets” (which I will refer to as “messages” so I don’t sound like a 14 year old girl). These “messages” can be [...]
Take Back the Felson’s
I can’t stay silent any longer. I have to come forward to let everyone know that I’ve been violated. The last 12 times (or three weeks) that I’ve been to Felson’s I’ve been horrified by the sight of people that I don’t know. It’d be one thing to not recognize an ITB-esque visitor, someone from [...]
No Reservations
I’m told that Valentine’s Day is one of the restaurant industry’s busiest nights of the year. Guys are forced to make reservations at nice restaurants for no reason at all, while girls don’t have to do shit. This is why I choose not to participate in this worthless “holiday”. Instead, I’ll go straight to Felson’s [...]
Stuart Scott Reads ITB Insider
Stuart Scott confessed to reading this blog the other night on Sportscenter as he covered N.C. State’s upset of Wake Forest. Scott’s admission to reading this blog came as a surprise, since I’ve always thought he was illiterate. No, I didn’t assume he couldn’t read because of his mangled eye, I had just always thought [...]
Double or Nothing
The Miss USA pageant is tonight, and will be hosted by AC Slater, who has been dead to me for almost a year now. You all know by now that I had a problem with Miss NC being from Garner. Well, it appears that Garner is now claiming two Miss USA contestants, Miss North Carolina and [...]
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