by William Needham Finley IV™

Broughton Intern Has Greatest Birthday Ever

in Broughton/Humor/ITB Intern by
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I’m pretty busy these days, but not so busy that I don’t take time for ITBlake the intern. His 18th birthday was Wednesday, so I obviously waited until Tuesday night to start thinking about it. Fortunately, social media provided a ton of great suggestions when I asked for some last minute gift ideas. Here are a few:

Pre-IPO shares of ITB Media Empire, Inc.

A signet ring. A card signed by top ITB officials and businesses. Lunch on the veranda at Carolina Country Club followed by a round of golf. A dictionary with all the words starting with “out” or “outside” scratched out and all words with “inside” highlighted with hearts in the margin. A friend for the Lake Boone chicken. A personal billboard for the month. Oh. I know. A trip to a festival somewhere…..

Management position with MicITBit

A case of LaCroix

Redeemable gift certificate for the Point

A YETI Tundra for the Tahoe and a YETI Hopper for on the go

Long sleeved Big Rock shirt

A Barbour jacket

Whatever it is, monogram or smock it

ITBlake wine (LaCroix) personalized glass

Reserved parking spot in Kip-Dell

Someone suggested a Trolley Pub ride, but we aren’t allowed to haze interns. Plus, we are anti-ITBullying at ITB Insider™.

A framed Stacy Miller sign, framed in empty Amazon boxes

Tickets to the next Fyre Festival


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A car – this was suggested by multiple people

A “My boss survived the Fyre Festival and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” t-shirt.

Be cutting edge. Get him a fidget spinner.

Man-Mur gift certificate

Cake from Village Deli

A Land Rover (assuming he doesn’t already have one…)

Take him to a strip club

A Broughton-themed care package

Clearly deserves Bojangles’ breakfast. If you could somehow get Flash to deliver it to the BHS football stands that’d be a good way to watch the sun come up.

ITBiscuits from Rise, then an ITBmw


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Lock him in the time capsule

Set up a song-a-gram go fund me competition with all proceeds toward purchasing a gift certificate from Village Deli or Great Outdoor Provision Company (only redeemable at CV location)

Snap spectacles, he can post videos and be the itbhipster

A fake id and/or a members-only pass to the secret Felsons that we all know still exists somewhere.

A flask with Broughton’s logo on it

A purple and gold fidget spinner

Pullen Park tickets are always a hit. Or maybe pay his joining fee at the University Club to get him off of parents’ membership.


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Thanks to everyone for the suggestions. I wasn’t able to get all of these things on such short notice, but I’ll definitely add them to his Christmas list. Here’s what I did get ITBlake for his 18th birthday:

A birthday cake donut from Rise in Cameron Village.

Tradition Scarves had actually already prepared a present for ITBlake. They got him a Broughton scarf, hat, socks, and a NC flag bandito. ITBlake’s still figuring out how to wear it.

An ITBlessed LaCroix glass. (These will soon be available in the online shop.)

LaCroix for his ITBlessed glass.

A Pumpkin Spice Latte, since he’s still on his PSD (pumpkin spice diet), I actually had them write “ITBlake” on it.

A copy of the August issue of Vanity Fair that I was in. 

That’s a key to ITBlake’s very own luxury condo at The Wade. This was kind of a big one, but I figured it was a business expense that I could write off. It’s still under construction, but ITBlake was so excited that he may camp out there in a few weeks. Stay tuned.

Overall, it was a great birthday for ITBlake. They grow up so fast.


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