by William Needham Finley IV™

Five Points Couple Excited About Boylan Skyline Selfies

in Five Points/Humor/ITBNN by

A Raleigh couple can breathe a sigh of relief after over 15 months of waiting. The news of the Boylan Bridge Brewpub’s reopening has brought joy to a Five Points power couple who were beginning to give up hope.

Vance Craig VI, a 31-year-old Senior Super Duper Executive Broker at a boutique commercial real estate firm, spoke about how difficult the wait has been, “It’s my right as a Raleigh native to crush 12 beers and enjoy the view on that deck. Do you know how many deals I could have closed out there by now? At least two, I bet.”

Craig VI can now crush beers and close deals.

Mary Cameron Knoll Craig, Vance’s stay-at-home-wife, runs multiple Instagram accounts that have been impacted by the closing. During the bar’s hiatus she had no choice but to put her account devoted to images of skyline selfies on hold. “Ugh, you don’t even know how many likes I’ve missed out on with this place being closed. Where am I supposed to go for skyline selfies, Dix Park? You can’t even drink out there.”


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Her husband added, “We didn’t know what to do. Sure, we could have driven all the way from Five Points and taken a skyline selfie on the bridge that’s 20 feet away from the bar, but that just looks like we’re trying too hard.”

“Exactly. Our skyline selfie needs to appear organic and authentic so we’ll get more likes. No one likes a try-hard,” explained Mary Cameron.

“Plus, if people saw us posing on the bridge for a picture they’d think we were doing engagement photos or headshots for a residential real estate website. Everyone knows we’re married and that I’m in commercial real estate. People would start asking questions,” said Craig VI.


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The couple seemed surprised to learn that the bar would now offer a new menu and expanded wine list.

“This place has a full menu? I thought they just served cheese quesadillas, pretzel cheese dip, and whatever that Summer Ale beer is,” said Craig VI.

The couple’s assumption was backed up by a social media analyst with Walk West. “We’ve analyzed thousands of social posts related to this location. We have never seen a single picture of food or beer. Users are taking the same exact picture with the skyline as a backdrop, especially women between the ages of 21 and 40. Typical images contain at least 5 girls wearing Aviator sunglasses, oversized t-shirts, and Jack Rogers sandals. Sometimes they’ll wear those gladiator sandals and a festival ready layered Bohemian dress or super chic cutoff jean shorts and a top with fringe. We expect a flood of skyline selfies from this location in the coming weeks,” commented the Walk West representative.


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Being at the mercy of the brewpub’s back and forth has been hard on the couple, but has also been an issue for another member of their family, Mabel the dog. “Thank God we can finally take Mabel to a bar where she can sit outside while we social climb by taking skyline selfies with other couples that we envy,” said Mary Cameron.

“It’s finally summer and I’m just ready to get lit on this deck. Now all we have to worry about is which Barbour apparel to wear,” said Craig VI.

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