ITB News: Iron Man 3, Broughton Graduation, ITB Koozies

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Iron Man 3 Films Poor Scenes in Cary

Whenever an actor plays an ego-centric, self centered character, I assume they’re also that way in real life. This is why Robert Downey, Jr. is high on my list of “celebrities I want to party with”. Downey, Jr. spent most of his career partying hard and Iron Man is an ego-centric billionaire playboy, both of which line up well with ITB values. So when I found out that Iron Man 3 was filming in the area this week I immediately stopped pretending that I was closing deals in the office so I could start partying early. Unfortunately, they were filming in Cary. I assume they needed footage of extras with botox and northern accents, or that they were doing some scenes of a town in a third world country.

Ready to leave Cary after being there less than a day.

 Trying to avoid the poor.

The fast food in Cary is worse than normal fast food.

Predictably, Cary residents took a break from having affairs, sending innocent people to prison, and counting their new money so they could wait outside the set for hours, hoping to see someone famous. I’m sure after spending a day in Cary avoiding these people like the plaque, Robert Downey Jr. will be dying to come get blackout ITB. He’ll probably party with us at Five Points because I’m sure he knows who we are.

Gwyneth Paltrow Hates Cary

On Tuesday night, Gwenyth Paltrow tweeted that she was in Raleigh looking for a good restaurant. I responded with a suggestion of the ITB Chick-fil-A or Second Empire. I figured I’d give her something on each end of the spectrum. On Wednesday she tweeted:

Obviously, “here” had to refer to Raleigh. No one has ever been happy to be in Cary. No one.

I’m fairly certain that Gwyneth Paltrow is in Raleigh because she’s either a.) visiting Broughton to see if she wants to send her children there, b.) hates Cary so much that she refuses to stay there while filming Iron Man 3, c.) all of the above.

BHS Graduation this Friday

It has finally come to an end for the Class of 2012. Broughton Seniors will be graduating this Friday and embarking on a life of still being better than everyone because they went to Broughton. Never forget. Fortunately, Broughton students get to graduate in their own gym. All the other schools in the area have to share the Convention Center because they don’t have facilities as nice as Broughton’s. I still haven’t been asked to give the commencement address, so I haven’t really thought of a speech. I should be able to wing it after they call me Thursday night begging me to do it. A perfect gift for your graduate is the ITB Insider golf shirt, or the ITB Koozies that are being produced right now.

ITB Koozies Coming Soon

The demand to show off how ITB you are while partying finally caused me to buy 5,000 koozies last week. They should be ready in the next two weeks.

Side 1
Side 2 

Use these to keep your beer cold while you’re out drunk boating in Atlantic Beach, Wilmington, Masonboro, Figure 8, etc. When a cop pulls you over for drunk boating just show him the koozie and he’ll let you go, no questions asked. If you’re at Figure 8 it won’t matter since there are no laws on the island. Anyone that doesn’t believe that never saw Forrest drunkenly run over 4 mailboxes or roll his Tahoe after taking a turn going 60 mph while listening to “Paradise City” at full volume. There were no charges filed in either incident. If I get word that these koozies are being used at a non-ITB beach like Myrtle beach, heads will roll. These can also be used for tailgating, concealing your beer at your children’s Jaycee basketball games/Salvation Army baseball games, at the pool at the Club, pregaming for the bar, etc. Basically, they’re the ultimate party status symbol.


Raleigh will be scaling the Hillsborough St. roundabout back to one lane, and it’s about damn time. I’m tired of the city forcing their European socialist infrastructure down our throats. This was one of the hardest parts of Raleigh to drive through while texting. I don’t have time to pay attention to the arrows in the road or the signs that tell me how to use it. I actually wish they would widen it to 5 lanes so it would be big enough for me to drive through in a straight line, without looking up from texting. [hr]