A recap of what’s been going on inside the beltline over the last few weeks.
10-Digit Dialing: 984 is the new Scarlet Letter
Unfortunately, our population is growing in and around ITB, which means we’re running out of numbers in the 919 area code. Starting this weekend, new phone numbers will have a 984 area code. Since 919 and 984 overlap, making local calls will require dialing the area code first. You’ll need to add 919 to the local numbers in your cell phones, otherwise they won’t work when you make a call. This won’t be a problem for most ITB residents. We know that when you’re getting a number from someone and they start with anything other than 919, you simply store it as, “OTB ALERT: NEVER ANSWER CALLS OR TEXTS FROM THIS NUMBER”.
It’s about time we started marking all the newcomers with these scarlet area codes of shame. I can’t wait to scoff at them when I hear one give their 984 phone number to the cashier at Harris Teeter because they forgot their VIC Card, or when they give out their business card with their 984 number while trying to network with 919ers. Note: If we ever get an NFL team, “919ers” would be a pretty awesome name.
The Hunger Games, filmed in NC, based on ITB (sort of)
The Hunger Games movie came out and was all anyone talked about last week. Apparently, the entire movie was filmed in North Carolina and tourists are flocking to our state to visit the set, which is just the woods and some building in Charlotte. I decided to look into all the hype, since I’m easily influenced by mass media and large advertising budgets. I bought the first Hunger Games on the Kindle and after the first chapter I was so entertained by how they make fun of the poor people that I immediately ordered two more Kindles so I could get the next two books. Someone just informed me that you don’t actually have to buy a new Kindle every time you want to get a new book. Apparently, you can download and store hundreds of books on just one Kindle. I don’t know if this is actually true or not, because it sounds like a terrible business model.
Even with all of my Kindles, and the assurance from athletes and celebrities who have been telling me “reading is cool” on library posters for my entire life, I still don’t really like reading. Every time I start reading a book, I’m unable to imagine a place that isn’t set inside the beltline. Fortunately, the Hunger Games translated pretty easily to my limited imagination. I just viewed Durham, Holly Springs, Cary, Garner, Apex, etc. as all of the bad districts. ITB was obviously the capital where the upper class lived and watched the hungry people fight to the death on the back 9 of the golf course at the Club. I won’t ruin it for you if you haven’t read it, but you can learn more about it here: Wikipedia: The Most Dangerous Game.
51% Of All American Households Now Own At Least One Apple Product
See, this is what happens when Apple lowers the prices of their older models of iPhones to $99. They might as well be putting iPhones as prizes in cereal boxes like Blackberry did a few years ago. My iPad 1 currently serves as a coaster and a flat surface to rest my new iPad on. Someone on Twitter pointed out that 100% of ITB homes have at least 5 Apple devices. I think that number might be a little low. Seriously, count how many Apple devices you’ve ever owned. If you’re ITB, I guarantee it’s over 5. Also, Apple totally screwed up by not making the new iPad look different from the iPad 2. I had to get a new case that said “THIS IS THE NEW IPAD” in huge letters on the back just so people would know I had the new one.