by William Needham Finley IV™

ITBack to School Must Haves

in Humor/ITBNN by
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You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. With schools across ITB starting soon, you’ll want to make sure your child has the appropriate accoutrements for their new year. The last thing you need as a parent is for little Davis III or Mary Anna to come home crying after the first day of school because they wore the wrong article of clothing or had a store brand snack in their lunch.

That’s why we’ve created this handy back to school guide that will ensure your children get off to a great start. This list isn’t the final say on the only acceptable items, but it provides standard issue ITB provisions that will meet the approval of your child’s peers.

We’ve even taken the time to link all of these products from Amazon so you can shop from the comfort of your home while watching Game of Thrones or that episode of Andy Cohen’s Then & Now that William Needham Finley IV was on. Plus, when you buy items by clicking these links you’ll be supporting the ITB Insider™ media empire, at no extra cost!


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North Face Backpack

A classic staple for ITB kids of all ages. Name brand? Check. Solid color that goes with anything? Check. Also, the Borealis is unisex so your child can’t be made fun of for having a backpack designed for the opposite sex.

Scout Lunch Bag

The days of bringing your lunch to school in a brown paper bag like it’s 1975 are over. If your child doesn’t show up at lunch with a doggie bag lunch cooler, they might as well eat alone in the janitor’s closet because that’s how much they’ll feel like an outcast around the other kids.

Lunch Container

Sure, you bought the designer lunch bag, but you aren’t going to put your child’s food in a ziplock bag are you? Those things are probably FULL of BPA, PVC, and phthalates. Save your child’s life by using these lunch containers. They also conveniently keep the different foods from touching, which is perfect for kids with OCD.

Pirate’s Booty

Pirate’s Booty has rocketed to the top of the snack food charts. Try sending your kid to school with a bag of Utz cheese balls and watch what happens when another mom notices while visiting her child at lunch. Your cheese ball move just became the talk of a thousand group texts.

Cheddar Bunnies

Like Pirate’s Booty, Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies are somewhat new to the snack game. The company itself wasn’t founded until 1989, but their Cheddar Bunnies are on par with the iconic Goldfish crackers. You probably can’t go wrong with either, but Annie’s just seems more ITB because of how much they shove that organic label in your face.

New Balance 990s


The only shoe you’ll ever need. Yeah your kid is probably begging for some new Under Armour shoe, but that’s just a fad. New Balances will never go out of style and will never blow a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals.

Yeti Tumbler

You can’t just send your child to school with a bottle of Deer Park and call it a day anymore. Their drinks needs to have ice and that ice needs to stay frozen solid until you pick them up in the afternoon. Thank God YETI is the only tumbler with this type of ice preservation technology.

Lilly Planner

We all know you’re going to be the one planning your kid’s schedule, so you might as well look good doing it.

Trapper Keeper

The perfect receptacle for your child’s schoolwork, which you will ultimately be responsible for.

Sperry Top-Siders

Wearing Sperrys means that at anytime you can attend a semi-formal event, board a boat, or go to the beach. These are all possibilities your child could face at a moment’s notice. Always be prepared.

Kid Sperrys

Same as above. Start teaching your children the importance of wearing proper shoes as they navigate the waters of the Pullen Park boats. But not the paddle boats, those require too much work.

Brooks Brothers Polo

A quintessential part of the ITB wardrobe, the Brooks Brothers polo should be worn every day of the week. When not wearing a Brooks Brothers polo, make sure your child is wearing a t-shirt from an ITB acceptable restaurant, such as Sanitary, Beaufort Grocery, Angus Barn, etc.

While this guide is far from complete, it should be enough to get you started. Good luck to you and your children on another exciting year of attending ITB schools.


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