by William Needham Finley IV™

Roll Tide, Roll Caps: Alabama Wins 2013 BCS National Championship

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Congratulations to Alabama for winning the BCS National Championship game against Notre Dame. More specifically, congratulations to Broughton’s Jeremy Shelley for winning his second BCS championship. We all know he should’ve won MVP of the BCS Championship game last year. Trent Richardson would’ve had 62 yards and 0 TDs if it weren’t for a garbage time 34 yard TD run, meaning Jeremy Shelley would have scored ALL of Alabama’s points in that game. He still won ITB MVP though.

The Alabama vs. Notre Dame matchup was great for those who enjoy watching an overhyped team get totally blown out in a huge game. The main thing we learned from this game is that Notre Dame is overrated, Brent Musburger is a creepy old man, and AJ McCarron’s girlfriend, Katherine Webb, just got added to every guy’s Top 5 list. I’ve included the play-by-play from last night below.

Alabama goes up 7-0 after an 82 yard opening drive.

 

 

Alabama goes up 14-0. Te’o has no idea there’s a football game being played at this point.

 

 

Brent Musburger creepily introduces us to AJ McCarron’s girlfriend. I immediately begin plotting how I can get her to come to Five Points and convince her to live ITB. Another 80 yard scoring drive puts Alabama up 21-0. Hilarious.

 

I wasn’t even paying attention at this point. Alabama scores again to go up 42-7. I was praying for the Alabama defense to hold Notre Dame to 7, and then have Shelley kick a field goal so we could say that he single-handedly outscored Notre Dame. Notre Dame scored again as Manti Te’o’s draft stock could be heard plummeting through the floor. He did more to hurt his future career in one game than I did during an entire summer internship doing finance for Dad, even though I never passed that class in college. Final score 42-14. Obviously, the ITB MVP goes to Jeremy Shelley for the second year in a row. Time to hang another BCS National Championship banner at Broughton. It’ll look great next to the banner of Webb Simpson’s U.S. Open victory. Roll Tide. Roll Caps.

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