by William Needham Finley IV™

How to Improve Voting in Raleigh

in Humor/ITBNN by

In 2015, voter turnout in Raleigh was less than 15%. While that is pathetic, we shouldn’t shame these non-voters. Voting is hard, y’all. If you have young children you might as well kiss democracy goodbye. Between dropping the kids off at White Memorial, running to Starbucks, then picking them back up three hours later and heading to multiple afternoon play groups, voting is the last thing on the minds of ITB moms.

They aren’t the only ones struggling. You think an ITB dad can cut a 2 hour lunch meeting short, or skip playing the back 9 at the Club just so they can drive to a polling place and wait in line to vote?


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Here are a few simple ways to make voting in Raleigh easier.

Drive-thru Voting

Curbside voting is great, but it’s not available to everyone. Solution: drive-thru voting. Just add a voting booth to every drive-thru in Raleigh. We’ll be sure to add two voting machines to the Cameron Village Chick-fil-A double drive-thru.

LaCroix Voting Machines

Voting machines should be on every corner. What happens to be on corners all over Raleigh that aren’t being used right now? Newspaper dispensers. Convert these dispensers into ballot boxes, brand them with La Croix, and watch the millennials come out in droves.

Sharpies

It’s a known fact that cases of carpal tunnel skyrocket on election day. Filling in those tiny circles with a Bic pen takes hours. Give citizens Sharpies and they’ll be in and out in under 6 seconds.

Social Media Stats

Let’s be honest, most citizens have never heard of half of these candidates. To help educate voters, the candidate’s social media following should be posted next to their name. We should also come up with some sort of “engagement rate” so voters know how responsive their candidates will be on social media.

Better Stickers

The “I Voted” sticker should be monogrammed. Plain and simple.

If we can come together and agree on common sense voting reform I guarantee voter turnout will be at least 90% in future elections.

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