by William Needham Finley IV™

Category archive


Straight Outta Content: A Brief History of Charlotte vs. Raleigh

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Some people think that I’m not qualified to have an opinion on Charlotte. They claim that I can’t fairly judge the city since the only time I’ve ever been there was on a field trip to Discovery Place when I was in the 5th grade. For those that don’t know, taking a field trip to Charlotte in the 5th grade is an ITB rite of passage, or form of corporal punishment, depending on whom you ask. They say time heals all wounds, but it doesn’t erase the entire memory of being kidnapped by the Wake County Public School System and forced to visit some sort of brainwashing propaganda center disguised as a museum. I’ve repressed this memory, but I’m willing to share it with you now: Keep Reading

ITBNN Investigates: WRAL Fails at Investigating the Club For Not Paying Taxes

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Once again ITB is under fire (not a mansion fire) from WRAL, the third best news organization in Raleigh, behind Broughton’s WCAP and the ITB News Network. WRAL did some “investigative” journalism and “discovered” that the Carolina Country Club (the Club) doesn’t pay corporate income tax Keep Reading

ITB News Network Exclusive: Tragedy in Cameron Village

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Update: Cameron Village has set up a memorial fund for the victim’s three children. Donate here.

All I wanted to do yesterday was sit around and Gchat with people about how we could save The Point and discuss the Hippest Hipster that invaded ITB in another Winnebago last week. Then tragedy struck in Cameron Village when a gunman shot and killed a woman in front of Pier 1 at around 9:30 am. I didn’t think ITB would have to rely on me (and other ITBers) to report the news for the rest of the day. I should have known better. Keep Reading

The Point of No Return

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ITB ALERT: We are currently in a beltline of emergency. Please let me explain before you do anything drastic.

I had a panic attack yesterday when The Point went public about their lease running out and them having to move. Insiders have known about this for over three months, we just hoped it would solve itself quietly. Yesterday afternoon, this message was posted: Keep Reading

ITB Will Dominate the London Olympics

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I don’t leave ITB unless there’s a good reason to. Watching friend and Broughton alum Jesse Williams compete in the London Olympics is a great reason to leave. I really owe him for making it to the Olympics, since it’s allowed me to be the center of attention by constantly telling everyone that I’m going to London. Keep Reading

Update: Cousin Eddie’s Winnebago Moves 5 Feet

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Last week I demanded that the City of Raleigh remove a Winnebago that had invaded Cameron Village. Speculation has been rampant as to why this OTB-mobile has infiltrated Cameron Village. It could be trying to establish residency in an ITB school district so their kids can go to Broughton. It could be a meth dealer, a pedophile, a terrorist, or worse…someone from Cary. We just don’t know at this point. Keep Reading

Webb Simpson Wins First U.S. Open for ITB

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Congratulations to ITB’s own Webb Simpson, for winning the 2012 U.S. Open! This isn’t just a victory for an incredible person and player, but also a victory for Raleigh and Broughton. Webb’s U.S. Open victory ranks right above the time he shot a 58 at the Club when he was 17 years old, causing the Club to redesign the whole course. I expect Broughton will have a replica of the trophy made so it can be displayed in Holliday Gym.

As always, Webb represented Raleigh well by wearing a Polo cardigan. Hopefully, Ralph Lauren will give him his own clothing line that will be available in every menswear store in Cameron Village and North Hills.

I don’t want to take all the credit for Webb’s victory, but it DID come on the heels of my recent guest appearance on 99.9 The Fan.

On Monday afternoon, I was asked to go back on 99.9 The Fan to comment on this historic victory and the aftermath.

If for some reason you weren’t watching Webb dominate the final round, I’ve pieced together the timeline from Twitter. One of the best moments occurred when a fan yelled “Broughton” after one of Webb’s shots.

Joe Ovies pointed out the obvious, that attending Broughton is more important than being in a fraternity in college.

Jim Furyk was tied with Webb as he was teeing off on the 16th hole. Furyk’s drive was pretty horrible, most likely due to the fact that he’s sponsored by 5 Hour Energy instead of adderall. That still isn’t as bad as Hunter Mahan being sponsored by Monster energy drink and Under Armour. This isn’t the X-Games, Hunter.

There was concern over potential celebratory mansion fires.

Webb finished his round and watched in the clubhouse as the competition failed to force a playoff. He met up with Bob Costas for the trophy presentation, which included a bizarre interruption, followed by the most ITB quote of the century.

I was certain that someone from Leesville was behind this. It turns out it was just some guy trying to save the rainforests.

It was also pointed out that the trophy presentation should have been crashed by Flash. Webb even agreed with this.

Here are some additional ITB reactions to the victory.

Note: If your tweet is on here and you want it removed, let me know and I’ll make it anonymous.

So congratulations to Raleigh’s Webb Simpson on winning the U.S. Open. We couldn’t have done it without you.

ITB Insider™ Crushes Sports Radio

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I recently appeared as a guest on the Adam and Joe show on 99.9 The Fan. Overall, I’d say I crushed it. Got a lot of great feedback from some Twitter followers and texts/calls from friends. Thanks for the support. I haven’t gotten the ratings in yet, but I’m pretty sure they’re going to offer me my own show. I left out a few things that I really wanted to mention. Things like mansion fire, how the ITB Insider shirts are one of the few acceptable t-shirts to wear, etc. It all happened so fast, but I’m sure I’ll do better next time, or when I have my own show. For those of you that missed it, the audio is below.

For those of you that can’t listen, here’s a transcript with behind the scenes footage. Keep Reading

ITB Insider™ Sports Radio Debut

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I’ll be a guest on the Adam & Joe show on 99.9 The Fan today at 4:00pm. You can listen live here.

I’ve always known I had the potential to be a lead anchor for ESPN’s Sportscenter. I would have gladly showcased this talent on WCAP, Broughton’s daily morning news show, but I could never make it to school that early on a consistent basis. Keep Reading

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