As always, ITB is dominating the sport of golf on all levels. Webb Simpson is having a successful year playing blades on the PGA tour, the Broughton golf team won the 4A state championship, a Broughton freshman won the state title, and I made it through my weekend round without breaking a club or losing [...]
It’s Payback Time
Earlier this month, Obama requested to make a stop by Broughton to talk about something called “student loans”, which is apparently something people use to pay for college. Fortunately, he changed plans and visited UNC instead. I’m sure he heard about the interrogation skills of Broughton’s Snow Holding and decided he couldn’t handle the pressure. [...]
ITB Insider™ Exclusive: Snow Holding Interview
Politicians know that the road to the White House goes through Broughton. Show me a candidate who never made a visit to Broughton and I’ll show you a loser. Yes, sometimes the losers (Al Gore) also visit Broughton, but at least they were trying. Since politicians visit Broughton all the time, the students are prepared [...]
ITB Moment of the Week: Future Late Night President asks Gingrich to Newt-er Obama
Like all politicians concerned with winning North Carolina, Newt Gingrich visited Broughton on Tuesday. It doesn’t matter that Newt might not win the Republican nomination. He’s probably just practicing for 2016. Broughton students are used to high profile politicians visiting us. It’s so old hat that some students even jokingly threaten to bring a bomb to school and end up having [...]
ITB Dominates Sports World
The sports world was dominated by ITB last week. NC State’s Staats Battle, a Broughton graduate, won ESPN’s “Most ITB Name in the NCAA Tournament“. Outsiders have referred to this contest as the “Coolest Name in the NCAA Tournament”, but we all know why he really won. Webb Simpson, Broughton graduate, and the greatest golfer from ITB, [...]
ITB News: Poor area codes, ITB All Americans, and the Hunger Games
A recap of what’s been going on inside the beltline over the last few weeks. 10-Digit Dialing: 984 is for the Poor Unfortunately, our population is growing in and around ITB, which means we’re running out of numbers in the 919 area code. Starting this weekend, new phone numbers will have a 984 area code. [...]
New iPad announced, ITB landfills overflow with discarded iPad 2s
ITB landfill operators noticed a dramatic influx of perfectly working iPad 2s on Thursday morning. Commoners flocked to the landfill from the surrounding Trailwood of Tears neighborhood and began stockpiling the discarded iPad 2s. Trailwood of Tears landfill overflowing with iPad 2s. It appears that the increase can be attributed to ITB children who discarded [...]
The ITB Chick-fil-A
After years of waiting, the ITB Chick-fil-A has finally arrived. We are now one step closer to never having to leave ITB for anything. There was such a demand for this that the ITB Chick-fil-A even appeared in Round 1 of the 2011 ITB March Madness Tournament, and it didn’t even exist back then. This is [...]
Girls Gone Wild comes to Gelwood South
This morning, I got the following text of a picture of a bus driving on Glenwood. Yes, that is the Girls Gone Wild bus. Not just any Girls Gone Wild bus, but the bus that is looking for the “hottest girl in America”. I refuse to Google this to learn more about it. Since the [...]
Real Fame Whores of Charlotte
I hate writing about Charlotte. However, I love writing about Charlotte when they’re making fools of themselves. Winston-Salem’s WXII12 TV station reported on Wednesday that the Bravo produced television show “Real Housewives”, would begin filming in Charlotte, further cementing Charlotte’s status as the unwanted fame whore step-child of North Carolina. However, that news was proven [...]
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