by William Needham Finley IV™

Seaboard Station Harris Teeter Could Mean the Return of Fosters

in ITBNN by

In some of the most exciting news of our lifetime, it was announced Tuesday that Harris Teeter will open a grocery store at Seaboard Station in downtown Raleigh. One of our favorite reporters at TBJ broke the story.

We quickly reported this groundbreaking news to the ITB masses by retweeting it and adding our own excitement, because that’s what reporting is in 2016. If you’re not first you’re second, and if you’re not second then just give up.

We haven’t seen this much buzz over a grocery store since Raleigh’s head exploded over the Wegmans that’s coming to Cary that none of us will actually go to. The news of another ITB Harris Teeter caused more excitement than the Publix rumored to be going in the Kane project on West Street.

Sources say the two Harris Teeters have entered into a non-compete agreement and will tailor their offerings based on the demographics of surrounding residents. The Seaboard Station location will attract an older and more granola crowd from nearby Oakwood and Person Street neighborhoods. The store will stock more vegan and vegetarian foods and will resemble a Whole Foods, except the aisles will be more than three feet wide. It’s rumored that while his new restaurant is being finished, Steve Crawfish will manage the hot bar and bakery, but NOT the sushi bar because sushi is soooo 2007. No word on if Gail plans to waste everyone’s time unsuccessfully protesting and filing lawsuits over the store’s modern design.

At the Cameron Village Harris Teeter, traffic congestion in the parking lot will significantly decrease, which should decrease the amount of Xanax that residents need to take before running errands. The Cameron Village location will carry more Prosecco, water crackers, and charcuterie plates. They plan to cater to ITB moms by devoting an entire aisle to La Croix, as well as adding valet parking, a doggy daycare, and babysitters for children under 6. To appease the college crowd, the store will add a microbrewery featuring Natty Light and Michelob Ultra. The store is expected to remain the best place to meet ITB singles due to its proximity to NC State, Meredith, and other pretentiously named boutiques that may have recently opened. Oxford Pig? Grouse & Bonnet? Those sound real enough.

Now for the most important angle of this story. We all know that the Cameron Village Harris Teeter is currently using the space that was formerly Fosters (Nelson’s, Felsons) for storage.

Fosters Today

This used to be my playground. This used to be my childhood dream.

With a second Harris Teeter located nearby, the Cameron Village store can move some of its inventory to the Seaboard Station store, which means they won’t need to use the Fosters space for storage. This means……FOSTERS COULD POTENTIALLY RE-RE-RE-OPEN!!! (That isn’t a stutter, it’s just that this would be like the third time Fosters has reopened.) This logic is flawless. We’ve already started conversations with key stakeholders to see if we can make this happen. Bouncer Marcus and bartender Chris were unavailable for comment, but stay tuned.

Construction on the Seaboard Station Harris Teeter is expected to begin by late 2017. In the meantime, I highly recommend checking out 80 Fresh for your dinner needs so you can avoid the nightmare that is the Cameron Village Harris Teeter parking lot. You may have seen me #leveraging for 80 Fresh on Instagram since they’re one of ITB Insider’s first corporate partners. They’re a local company that delivers home cooked meals to your door that you can prepare quickly. Use the code “ITB” when checking out to save 30% on your first order.

I’ll do a full review of their dinners next week. I would’ve done that last night but I was busy promoting puppies and La Croix.

This post brought to you by @oliverobbinslab and @lacroixwater

A photo posted by William Needham Finley IV (@wnfiv) on

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