by William Needham Finley IV™

Brunch Bill Passage Causes ITB Euphoria

in Humor/ITBNN by
ShopITB.com

It’s finally over. Our long Sunday morning nightmare is over. Less than a week after Gov. Roy Cooper signed the “Brunch Bill” into law, the Raleigh City Council voted 7-1 to allow alcohol sales starting at 10 a.m. on Sundays, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

“After reading about the Brunch Bill protests on ITB Insider™, we knew we had to act fast to approve this,” said an anonymous council member. “We didn’t want any more protests, and we certainly didn’t want another pastel-colored frat wall blocking the entrance at the Cameron Village Harris Teeter.”

I don’t want to take all the credit for this victory. A lot of other people helped out, including the NC Restaurant & Lodging Association, legislators, and businesses who wanted the law changed. But I will say that before I addressed this on ITB Insider™ the bill had not passed. Once I investigative journalismed the issue, the bill was passed. I’ll let you all read between the beltlines on that one.


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Upon hearing the news, residents cried tears of joy while group texting their friends to make Sunday brunch plans. “We were going to stay in Atlantic Beach through the weekend, but now that we can drink Bloody Marys two hours earlier we’re cutting our trip short. LOAD UP THE SUBURBAN, THOMAS, WE’RE GOING HOME,” said Hayes Barton resident Mary Lane Lane. Some residents became so excited after hearing the news that they couldn’t even keep their cars on the road.

At first I thought this might have been some sort of kamikaze attack on the Club by an OTB mom who was upset that her daughter wasn’t selected as a Deb. Then I remembered they haven’t sent out the Deb announcements for 2017 yet. This accident was clearly due to Brunch Bill euphoria.

How Brunch Impacts the ITB Economy

A representative from Capital Club 16 added that the law change would result in at least an additional $60,000 in mimosa sales…. each week. “This is great for our industry. I’ve had to hire 4 new employees just to manage our mimosa wheels.” The law change isn’t just helping restaurants that offer brunch. A representative from Capital Creations added that this was great for their business as well. “Giving people two more hours to drink mimosas and Bloody Marys is great for us. By the time people are done with a Sunday Funday and that French Toast has worn off they’re dying for a Sunday night anxiety pizza. We support the move 100%.”

It’s time to celebrate our newfound brunch freedom. I wanted to throw an ITBrunch Bash at Dix Park featuring The Connells with a menu of Rise biscuits, flights of French Toast from my favorite brunch restaurants, and Glowmosas. (A Glowmosa is a combination of the traditional mimosa and Glow, a juice made from pineapple, apple, mint, and lime from my friends at Humdinger. When combined with champagne this becomes the Glowmosa, a drink far superior to your run-of-the-mill mimosa.) We’d even have a mimosa ice luge shaped like the beltline. After eating, drinking, and Instagramming it all, we would take three hour Netflix naps and everything would be right in the world. Then I realized you have to get permits, call caterers, and do a lot of work, which we literally don’t have time for.

Preview of the ITBrunch Bash in Dix Park.

Instead, I’ll be dining at either NOFO or Capital Club 16 to kick off this new era of brunch. I’m also going to ask my lobbyists to get every good brunch spot in town to add the Glowmosa to their menu. I look forward to celebrating this Sunday. Thank you once again to all who were involved in making this happen. Now it’s time to work on a law to keep Chick-fil-A open on Sunday.

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