by William Needham Finley IV™

Vest Season Delayed, Again

in Humor by

Vest season has been delayed due to unusually high temperatures in Raleigh. Residents who have been conditioned to wear vests during the usually cool month of October are struggling to adapt. “What the hell am I supposed to wear to a tailgate in October?” said Sutton Nichols III.

Many parents are concerned that it will not be cool enough to wear fall attire while taking pumpkin patch pictures with their children. 

“It’s so hot that I’ll be dressed for picking strawberries but we’ll be surrounded by orange and that’s going to clash. I don’t care what the weather is, I’m wearing my damn Barbour vest,” said Mary Elizabeth Williams.

Temperatures are expected to remain in the 80s for at least another week. Shares of Patagonia and Barbour are trading at all-time lows as a result. 

This isn’t the first time residents have had to deal with these issues. A Five Points couple, and their Cavalier King Charles, once struggled with what Barbour jackets to wear during an unusually hot February in 2017, 2018, and 2019.

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