by William Needham Finley IV™

LaCroix Wine and Design Class Sells Out In Seconds

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LaCroix themed Wine & Design classes sold out within seconds of being announced this week. As the name implies, participants in the class pay $35 to paint a picture of a can of LaCroix, the popular sparkling flavored water that everyone is cripplingly addicted to.

The first step is admitting you have a problem. @lacroixwater

A photo posted by William Needham Finley IV (@wnfiv) on

Before offering the class to the public, Wine & Design held a test run over the weekend to work out any kinks. They invited some of their most loyal customers to unleash their inner artist while painting pictures identical to everyone else in the class. The first issue arose when guests were tasked with choosing which flavor of LaCroix to paint, which created an almost gang-like division among the crowd.

“The rehearsal gave us some important customer feedback. We should’ve known people would want to paint Pamplemousse instead of Lime, we just weren’t aware of how loyal people were to their flavors. When Mary Helen threatened to “cut someone” in support of Coconut, we decided to just add more classes based on other flavors to be as inclusive as possible. We want everyone to look happy at the end when they’re all holding identical paintings and posing for the group picture that will go on Faceook,” said a Wine & Design representative.

When asked why each guest couldn’t just paint their own flavor, the Wine & Design representative became frazzled and started mumbling something about guests needing to be on the same page in order to have a bonding experience.

In addition to offering more flavor options to paint, Wine & Design will cater the class with wine and special LaCroix cocktails featuring top-shelf liquor. For an additional $200, guests can order a LaCroix cake and cupcakes from Hayes Barton Cafe, inspired by the cake recently offered by a Whole Foods in hipster Williamsburg.

La Croix cake 2Photo by Scott Heins/Gothamist

Analysts speculate that the insane demand for tickets can be traced to the sudden rise in popularity of LaCroix, combined with high heat indexes that cause people to remain indoors instead of lounging at the pool all day. The demand has created a secondary market for the classes, with tickets being sold for up to $500 on sites like Micit and ITBeBay.

“I was just lucky. My Mom told me she went to the rehearsal class and as soon as I heard they were painting cans of LaCroix I knew people would eat this up. It’s perfect for a Deb luncheon, a girls night out, bachelorette parties, you name it. So I logged on right when the classes went on sale and bought 10,000 of them with Dad’s credit card,” said an unnamed futures trader.

Additional classes were added through the year 2020 to try and meet the demand, but they were all purchased within 10 minutes.

Note: If Wine & Design actually does this I’m demanding 50% of their sales go to either me or a charity since I came up with the idea. Since they’re usually 2-4 weeks behind the times, it is expected that the Trolley Pub will be offering LaCroix themed rides within the next month.

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