by William Needham Finley IV™

La Croix Wine and Design Class Sells Out In Seconds

in Humor by

La Croix themed Wine & Design classes sold out within seconds of being announced this week. As the name implies, participants in the class pay $35 to paint a picture of a can of La Croix, the popular sparkling flavored water that everyone is cripplingly addicted to.

The first step is admitting you have a problem. @lacroixwater

A photo posted by William Needham Finley IV (@wnfiv) on

Before offering the class to the public, Wine & Design held a test run to work out any kinks. They invited some of their most loyal customers to explore their inner Monet while painting pictures identical to everyone else in the class.

The first issue arose when guests were tasked with choosing which flavor of La Croix to paint, which caused quite a rift.

“The rehearsal gave us some important customer feedback. We should’ve known that people would want to paint Pamplemousse instead of the other flavors. When Mary Helen threatened to “cut someone” in support of Coconut we decided to add classes for smaller groups of sociopaths who enjoy Coconut. We just want everyone to look happy when they’re all holding identical paintings and posing for the group picture,” said a Wine & Design representative.

In addition to offering more flavor options, Wine & Design will cater the class with wine and special La Croix cocktails. For an additional $200, guests can order a La Croix cake and cupcakes from Hayes Barton Cafe, inspired by the cake recently offered by a Whole Foods in hipster Williamsburg.

La Croix cake 2Photo by Scott Heins/Gothamist


A secondary market has already emerged for tickets to the classes. Some are being sold for up to $500 on private Facebook groups such as micITBit.

“I bought 50 tickets as soon as my mom told me she went to the rehearsal class. I knew people would eat this up. It’s like the next Holiday Express. It’s perfect for a Deb luncheon, a girls night out, bachelorette parties, and gossip club.” said an unnamed futures trader.

Additional classes were added through the year 2020, but they sold out within 10 minutes.

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