Now that the Hopscotch music festival has come and gone, it’s time to recap my favorite game, “Hopscotch band or…” where I question whether random words strung together are names of bands playing at Hopscotch or something else entirely. I would have posted this before the festival, but I didn’t want to risk having any of the bands, or Twitter social justice warriors, accuse me of some sort of microaggression, then attack me on social media and potentially hurt my burgeoning startup company. I’m just a small business trying to build a media empire. I’d love to dedicate more time to analyzing Hopscotch and why things like the picture below exist, but I’m busy running a company.
Here are the 2016 entries for Hopscotch band or…
Housefire: Hopscotch band or ITB pastime? ????????????????? pic.twitter.com/5DMbtA8mNC
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 9, 2016
Lacy Jags: Hopscotch band or flag football team at Lacy Elementary? #hopscotch16 pic.twitter.com/nkYITnJ7F7
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 9, 2016
Rainbow Kitten Surprise: Hopscotch band or new type of ecstasy? Or both? #hopscotch16 pic.twitter.com/TeAyJlOavC
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 9, 2016
Man Forever: Hopscotch band or poster boy for HB2 supporters? #hopscotch16 pic.twitter.com/l7pp7j4io5
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 9, 2016
Ricky Eat Acid: Hopscotch band or what happens when you run out of Rainbow Kitten Surprise? #hopscotch16 pic.twitter.com/9jxkIA6bGN
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 9, 2016
In case you missed the 2015 edition:
Dad & Dad – Hopscotch band or zany 1990s TV sitcom starring Paul Reiser and a fake George Michael? #hopscotch15 pic.twitter.com/4d6SNqYIJE
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 10, 2015
I'm playing #realhopscotchband with @WNFIV my entry: trump nugget
— Damon Circosta (@dcircosta) September 10, 2015
Silent Lunch – Hopscotch band or how kids at Lacy are punished for talking back to their teachers? Kidding, ITB kids don't get punished.
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 10, 2015
Acid Chaperone – #realhopscotchband or Algebra Club alumnus not allowed to go to the Deb Ball this weekend?
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 10, 2015
Jenks Miller & Rose Cross NC #realHopscotchband or an accounting firm located in North Raleigh?
— William N. Finley IV (@WNFIV) September 10, 2015
.@WNFIV #realHopscotchband or Enloe's chess team? pic.twitter.com/JiO24Dk174
— PopoZão (@0nly9OsKIDZ) September 10, 2015
Cary Invasion #realhopscotchband or a basketball team created specifically to horrify @WNFIV ?
— Old Privy (@OldPrivy) September 10, 2015
This game has actually turned me on to some good music over the years. Dear God, I hope I’m not turning into the Hippest Hipster. Even though I’ve never actually attended Hopscotch it’s pretty nice having outdoor concerts around downtown. I can’t think of any other event in Raleigh where patrons of both Slim’s and Churchill’s can coexist in the same area. And anything is better than shutting down the city for road races and marathons.
Lawd! Where is “Die Hipster.com” when you need them?